05:05 PM MST on Tuesday, September 23, 2003

By TERESA GUBBINS / The Dallas Morning News

Elvis Costello is practically 50, and boy does it ever show on North , a collection of listless piano ballads sufficiently dreary to induce narcolepsy.

Ditching guitar in favor of piano, Mr. Costello moans like a dog, with an occasional segment of horns or strings to "jazz" things up. Minimal arrangements seem intended to make songs such as "You Left Me in the Dark" feel spare and atmospheric; but instead, they're just excruciatingly boring. His arrangement is lousy: He hits the exact same notes as the piano and it comes off as simplistic and deadly dull. And baby, there ain't no tunes here. The tracks, they meander aimlessly. Oh, how painful it all is.

Teresa Gubbins